A Million Times Thanks
Ahh...today I turned 43...well, technically, I won't be for another 30 minutes, but oh well. Mom said today that the day of my birth was sunny like today was...but, warmer. Yeah, warmer was definitely not a word you could use for today. But that is NOT what this blog is about.
It's about feeling...good. See, a lot of my Facebook "friends" left me very nice and warm birthday wishes. It felt great...especially since my self-esteem has been a bit bummed lately (you could even say it was in the toilet). I wrote a blog a while back that I'm going to reference and quote in this one. I'll put it in a different size so you'll know what is history and what is now...ok?
Well, I recently realized a couple things. I do not have any real friends that I feel I can truly count on.
And while I don't know I f I can truly "count on" my Facebook friends in a pinch, I do realize that yes, they know I'm here. They realize I exist. Yeah, I know FB has a birthday thingie that reminds you to recognize your friends...but I can live with that. What is really frustrating me right now is my font, color, size, style...I can't seem to get it to do what I want. Oops, I digress. Back to friends.
I guess that need to feel good about ones self doesn't change because you become an adult. The feelings of, "will I get a date for prom" now become, "will anyone be my friend and read my blog." That question of, "am I cute enough" is still pretty much, "am I cute enough" since you place your picture on Facebook. Those same insecurities are there. Only now they aren't just in your head to be discussed in your bedroom by yourself while reading "Seventeen Magazine" and again feeling bad because you don't look like Reese Witherspoon or Carrie Underwood or whatever person you admire. They are out there on the World Wide Web. "Ooh, look at Kristin," they might say, "she doesn't get any friend comments. What a loser. No one likes her."
So, thank you Facebook friends...you made my day so much better and brighter. And to be honest? I seriously think you helped change my outlook. All of a sudden, chasing my dreams seems so much more possible. Yeah, yeah, I know, I should be able to do that without a few birthday blurbs, but again, when your sense of self is low, you take those shoves towards the positive where you can get them.
I am going to move forward with freelance writing (thanks Julie) and I'm going to work at making me...(feel free to enter what ever adjective you wish).
Thanks gang...you're the best! Love to all.
I'm just saying...
